A Bleached Wii
by ma-yonaka14
Summary: What would happen, if Ichigo Kurosaki or Renji Abarai or even Grimmjow Jeagerjaques found a Wii. In this three chapter crack fic, you'll find out.


The Shinigami and a Wii

It all seemed like a normal day in the Seireitei. Shuhei was checking the mail. That was one of his new jobs because of the lack of his captain. He stopped when he came across a package for all of the captains and lieutenants.

"Well what do we have here?" he mumbled, "There's no return address, and it is pretty big. I wonder if it's for Kurotsuchi, he kept bragging about a new invention, but then why is it for everyone?" He thought for a minute and decided to check with the general. As he neared General Yamamoto's office, he ran into Captain Hitsugaya and his Lieutenant, Matsumoto.

"Shuhei! I haven't seen you in a while; Hitsugaya has had me working my cute little butt off. Can you believe that he had me do his laundry-" Matsumoto stopped mid sentence when she heard Hitsugaya growl. "What's in the package, is it for me? I like presents, they make me feel-" Hitsugaya put his hand on Matsumoto's shoulder and glared at her.

"Lieutenant Shuhei, what are you doing here? Don't slack on your jobs." Hitsugaya announced to Shuhei.

"I have business to do with the general, is he here?" Shuhei answered.

"He's in there. But be quick, he's on his lunch break-oi…OI!" Shuhei ran off before Hitsugaya could finish, "Ugh, Lieutenants. Wait where's mine?" he turned to see Matsumoto running with Shuhei to the general's office. Hitsugaya sighed; it was obvious she wouldn't be coming back. He headed back to tenth squad's barracks.

Inside the grand office, Shuhei gave the package to Yamamoto.

"There's no return address. Did anyone order anything?" Yamamoto asked.

"I didn't. I was thinking Captain Kurotsuchi did, but it's addressed to all of us." Shuhei said.

"And what's your thought on this Matsumoto?" Yamamoto turned his attention to her.

"I just followed Shuhei in here. It's the first I've heard of this." She responded.

"I see, well will you two please call all the captains and lieutenants for a meeting in my office. Please meet them out there in the waiting room and don't tell them about this meeting. When everyone arrives, come in and well start." Yamamoto ordered. Shuhei and Matsumoto left and prepared for the meeting.

XXX

"Why are we here? I was in the middle of training." Kenpachi questioned Shuhei, he was on edge, and this meeting was interrupting his squads training time. "Kenny's not happy. Someone's gonna get hurt." Yachiru warned.

"You'll find out soon enough. We were told not to tell by the general himself." Matsumoto countered.

Almost everyone was in attendance. Three squads were missing. The second squad was finishing up lunch, the eighth squad captain had just woken up from his nap, and the eleventh squad was cleaning the mess of experiment gone wrong. The present shinigami were occupying themselves for the time being. Sasakibe, Kotetsu, and Iba were in a discussion about training methods. Renji, Hinamori, and Kira were relaxing on a bench. The captains seemed to be a little tired and most were sitting and talking. Kenpachi was the only one standing, Yachiru smiling on his shoulder. Captain Ukitake and Captain Komomura were talking about the upcoming war. Captain Byakuya was almost asleep on a wall. Hitsugaya was scolding Matsumoto who was looking to Captain Unohana for help. Shuhei was leaning on the wall waiting for the others to arrive.

After a few minutes, Captain Shunsui came in with Nanao. He looked groggy and sat down immediately. On his tail were Captain Kurotsuchi and Nemu. They were dirty and looked annoyed. Shuhei took them into account and waited for the second squad to arrive. Around fifteen minutes passed before they came.

"Oh great. Were the last ones to arrive." Omaeda exclaimed.

"Well if you didn't eat so much we would have been here earlier, smarts." Soifon shot back, clearly infuriated. They walked over and joined the other shinigami.

Shuhei grabbed Matsumoto and they stood at the front. "Well since everyone is here, we can head on in." Shuhei announced, everyone looked at him and slowly gathered around the door. Matsumoto opened it and led everyone in.

XXX

"I have gathered you all here today because we received a mysterious package. There is no return address on it and it is entitled to all of the captains and lieutenants. I would like to ask you if anyone has ordered a package recently." General Yamamoto spoke. Every captain and lieutenant shook their heads in response.

"Well now that we're in a situation. Are going to open the box and find out what's in it?" Shuhei asked. Everyone seemed to agree with him, this meeting pretty much ruined their day, so at least they could find out what was in the box.

"Very well, but be on your guard! It could be a trap." Yamamoto said. He grabbed the box from his desk. Everyone had one hand on their zanpakuto and one clenched in anticipation. Yamamoto grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the tape that bound the package. He set it on his desk and opened it up. Packing peanuts spilled out and onto the counter. He stuck his hands in and pulled out another box. Everyone stared at it blankly.

"Well, what is it?" Unohana asked.

"I think it's a present. Is it for you Kenny?" Yachiru chimed in.

"I doubt I did anything to deserve it." Kenpachi answered dryly.

Yamamoto flipped the box around so the word Wii was in sight of the group in front of him.

"What's a Wy-i?" Nanao inquired, "I haven't heard of it before."

"Let's see what's inside." Renji suggested.

"I wonder if it's the thing on the box." Kira joined in.

"I'm curious too, but be on your guard." Yamamoto exclaimed.

He opened it up and pulled out the Styrofoam casing. Then he cut the tape and opened it up. He looked at all the parts inside and then at everyone.

"It doesn't look dangerous. So is anyone good with electronics?" Yamamoto asked.

XXX

After a long hour of twenty-two shinigami working on the Wii, they finally got it together. They had to run over the Seireitei to find a large television, read the manual, _understand_ the manual, get enough seats for everyone, and gather snacks. Now they were ready to play.

Shuhei had the Wii-mote that was in the consoles box. Another one was also in the package separately, Matsumoto had that one. The other twenty shinigami were sitting in the chairs behind Shuhei and Matsumoto. Matsumoto turned the Wii on, by pressing the consoles button. Everyone was mesmerized by the screen. There were so many choices, they argued over which one to do.

"Let us play the game!" Kurotsuchi yelled, Nemu just nodded.

"No we need to check the weather; I want to go on a picnic!" Omaeda pitched in.

"Let's shop; I could use some stylish tops!" Matsumoto said.

"We should check the news; I'd like to see the new anchor." Byakuya mumbled.

"Pictures! Let's put some on it!" Ukitake announced.

"What's the second channel? What the heck is a My-i?" Renji asked. Everyone now looked there. Shuhei pointed the remote to the Mii Channel and pressed the A button. The screen changed.

"So we can actually _create_ ourselves?!" Kotetsu exclaimed.

Matsumoto selected the plus sign and looked at the screen. "Oh, I know!" She said to her self. She selected the male Mii and started working. After about fifteen minutes, she finished.

"Captain! Captain! Look I made you!" Matsumoto cheered.

Hitsugaya smiled sarcastically as the other captains snickered. "The bangs are wrong…" He mumbled. Matsumoto was oblivious to his remark and started on a new Mii.

"Ok Renji, your turn!" She cheered. Matsumoto finished with Renjis Mii in little time. "Sorry Renji, they didn't have your weird pony tail hair, so I gave you pig tails."

"Hehe…uh…that's ok." Renji said admist the giggles of everyone else. Even Hitsugaya managed a laugh.

"Ok, so who wants to be next?" Matsumoto turned and looked at everyone. They stopped laughing and gaped at her. Some of them started pointing at others while some hid behind others. Someone had pushed Kira to the front, he stumbled over to Matsumoto.

"Kira! Lets see what we can do. I love making people, you guys should try it." Matsumoto said bubbly.

Kiras Mii ended up being the worst so far. They had nothing close to his hair so Matsumoto picked a style at random. It happened to look somewhat like Shuheis, who was completely fine with it if he didn't get a Mii made of him.

"Well…it'll do." Matsumoto critiqued her work, "I'll just have to do better on the next person. Now who is it gonna be?" She turned to face the crowd a second time. They all argued and started pushing each other. "That's ok, I'll get to you all eventually. Take a seat, this is going to take a while." The shinigami moaned and reluctantly sat down.

XXX

After about two hours of constant Wii watching, Matsumoto finished making all the shinigami present, including her. She made herself the best looking one, and compared to everyone else's Mii, it actually looked like her.

"Well, what do you guys want to do next?" Matsumoto asked cheekily. Hitsugaya looked at Yamamoto and he nodded.

"Matsumoto, please come with me for a moment. I need to show you something very important." He ordered.

"But, I wanna play with my new toy." She argued. Hitsugaya growled and Matsumoto obediently followed him out of the general's office.

"Now that the crazy lieutenant is out, get to work! Pack up the wretched contraption back into its parcel. Get me my address book. I've got a little surprise for a certain someone." Yamamoto smiled slyly and watched the other shimigami scuttle around him.


End file.
